A Fishful Of Francs

A Fishful Of Francs
Production Details
Written by	Jeremy Lloyd & Paul Adam
Director	John B. Hobbs
Transmission Details
Airdate	23 February 1992
Continuity
Previous	Firing Squashed
Next	Swan Song

Plot

While lieutenant Gruber and colonel Von Strohm are hiding in Edith's bedroom, René must run the café as usual, in order to keep up appearances. Suddenly, Edith comes down the stairs, informing René that the two Germans are changing into other disguises and she wonders, if the coast is clear for them to leave the café. René says they must be quick about it, with the communist resistance looking for them. The next moment, Mimi comes in from the square, telling them both that Louise and Maxine are coming across the square towards the café. While Edith and Mimi go upstairs to help the Germans disguise themselves, René stays in the café, to contain the communists if they arrive at the café.

Yvette asks René into the backroom, where she flings herself into his arms, as she is scared of what is happening. As René holds her in his arms, the window is opened and Louise bursts in, wondering, just like Edith always does, what René is doing with his arms around Yvette. After he has given her an explanation, Louise demands that Yvette leave the room, which she does. This leaves the field free for Louise to hold René in her arms, after she has told him, that they are soon to find Hitler and Göring. While they are holding each other, Edith walks in on them and is upset at first, but calms down when she sees who it is René is holding. However, it makes Louise leave to continue the search.

Edith brings René out into the café, telling him that the two Germans are now disguised. As they come downstairs, it turns out they have borrowed some of madame Fanny's clothes and are disguised as women. However, René informs them that the communists have sniffer dogs who can scent them, still making it impossible for them to leave. However, they do get an idea, when they see two German soldiers sitting at another table. They try to flirt with them to make them escort them to the chateau, but as the two of them recognise Gruber and Von Strohm and think they are up to something nasty, wearing those clothes, they refuse at first. However, when the colonel orders them to escort them, they are forced to obey. Thus, the colonel and the lieutenant make it to the chateau, carrying the Hitler and Göring uniforms in a suitcase.

The next morning, monsieur Alfonse and Edith are to drive around his hearse to make the radio broadcast, under the pretext of going on a picnic. When they have left the café, Michelle turns up and tells René of her latest plan to get the ten million francs ransom. She gives him a sack, containing a 32 pound dogfish, which he will give to the Germans. They are then to place the ten million francs inside it and drop it in the river, where the resistance will pick it up. In return, the resistance will release a four foot eel into the river, containing the photograph. As René goes to the Germans and explain this plan, they agree to it and stuff the fish with money.

Monsieur Alfonse and Edith are having a nice picnic by the river. As Edith gazes on the river, monsieur Alfonse starts talking about fishing, using a lot of sexual innuendo. After a short visit from officer Crabtree, who is out biking in the countryside, monsieur Alfonse soon picks out his fishing rod and stands by the river. Meanwhile, René, Gruber and Von Strohm have gone down to the river, letting the dogfish in, still attached to a fishing line on a rod. However, the line snaps and the fish swims away with the money. Realising that they have just lost the ten million francs without having paid it to the resistance, the colonel becomes rather angry and René and Gruber flee from him. Soon thereafter, monsieur Alfonse gets something on the hook - which turns out to be a 32 pound dogfish. They decide to sell it to the fish monger in the town square.

Sometime later, herr Von Smallhausen is standing in herr Flicks headquarters, preparing his dinner. As he is making hollandaise sauce to go with it, he puts tulips in it. The next moment, Helga arrives to dine with herr Flick and as Von Smallhausen serves the meal (dogfish, which he has bought from the fish monger in the square) and they start eating, herr Flick almost chokes on a peace of paper, which he finds in the fish. As it turns out to be a thousand francs note and Helga accidentally says "it can't be", looking rather surprised, herr Flick demands she tell him what she knows about it. Thus, she is forced to reveal the whole story with the fish, the ransom money and the photograph. Herr Flick then decides that the next day, they will trade colonel Von Strohm the money for the painting.

General Von Klinkerhoffen tells Gruber and Von Strohm that that same evening, Hitler and Göring must leave for Berlin. As the communists will be informed, they are bound to capture them. They are very reluctant to dress up as the nazi leaders again and are releaved to hear, that they do not have to. Instead, they will find two peasants whom the uniforms fit and let them play the doubles instead. They will be put in the car, which is filled with explosives, and follow in Gruber's little tank. Then, the will detonate the explosives when the communists have surrounded it.

The three of them immediately go to the café, where they line up all the guests to try to find somebody to fit the uniforms. Gruber and Von Strohm are reluctant and try to tell the general that no one fits the uniforms. However, the general find two people who exactly fit them - René and Edith. By accident, monsieur LeClerc is chosen to be their driver. When they have put on the uniforms, René, Edith and LeClerc and the three Germans all leave. Mimi and Yvette immediately try to figure out a way to help them. They hurry to where officer Crabtree is staying and throw grovel at his window to catch his attention. As he opens it in his pyjamas, Mimi and Yvette tell him what has happened. Then, Michelle also turns up by the window, also wearing nothing but night clothes. It is then decided that the four of them will go and tell Louise and Maxine not to ambush the car with Hitler and Göring, since they are in fact Edith and René. However, this was not necessary, since they explain they have no intention of ambushing anything this night.

Von Klinkerhoffen, Von Strohm and Gruber follow the car, with René, Edith and LeClerc in it, in Gruber's little tank, ready to blow it up at any minute. However, as nobody ambushes the car before it crosses the bridge, they can leave it, since the car is then out of the general's jurisdiction. However, the car is soon stopped anyway - by Germans. It is a German troupe who have decided to execute the Hitler and Göring to put an end to the war. As they start dragging Hitler (Edith) out of the car, she cries for help from René. Things do not get better when he tells the Germans that it is his wife, as they think Hitler and Göring are married. Edith is then carried away to be shot.