|Captain Alberto Bertorelli|
|Portrayed by|| Gavin Richards (Series 4-6)
Roger Kitter (Series 7)
Captain Alberto Bertorelli is a fictional character in the BBC sitcom 'Allo 'Allo!, which ran from 1982 to 1992. He was played by Gavin Richards at first, later being replaced by Roger Kitter for season 7 (the character was dropped at the end of that season).
Having something of an eye for the ladies, Bertorelli's main catchphrase was "What a mistake-a to make-a!", after the occasional blunder. His other main saying consisted in a happy "Heil-a Mussolini!" (usually followed by "Mussolini never go well"), when the German command said "Heil Hitler!". It was usually accepted with a sarcastic dismissal or, sometimes, even anger. He also thought that he was very popular and always asked ladies if they would "like a good time with the-a Italian hero". He also pretended to love Edith so he could marry her and get his hands on the cafe.
He is pompous, highly self-obsessed, very annoying and extremely vain, with hopelessly cowardly characteristics. He always says 'Alberto' when referring to himself, and has the habit of pointlessly kissing people he meets during greeting. He even pulls off an incident when he first meets Rene:
Rene: I am just a simple cafe owner trying to lead a life with my wife and mother in law.
Alberto approaches and embraces Yvette: I embrace-a your wife.
Alberto approaches and nearly embraces Edith: I embrace-a your mother in law...
Edith(With an arrogant and furious expression): I am the wife!
Alberto: What-a mistake-a to make-a!
The Italian captain is not a beloved character in the eyes of the German officers. e.g. the Colonel, the Lieutenant and Private Helga try and keep the painting of 'The fallen madonna' secret for as long as possible from him and whenever he greets the General with a 'Heil-a-Mussolini' the General usually answers with: 'not on your nilly!'.
"What a mistake-a to make-a!"
"Heil-a Mussolini!" (usually followed by "Mussolini never go well")