Firing Squashed

Firing Squashed
Production Details
Written by	Jeremy Lloyd & Paul Adam
Director	John B. Hobbs
Transmission Details
Airdate	9 February 1992
Continuity
Previous	Awful Wedded Wife
Next	A Fishful Of Francs

Plot

René is sitting at a table in the café, when Louise from the communist resistance enters. She have a few demands. First of all, she wants to marry René. Secondly, she asks him to tell Michelle to bring the radio transmitter to the barn in which she and the other communists are hiding. This is because they have captured Hitler and Göring themselves and they want Hitler to broadcast an unconditional German surrender. As the two of them are cuddling, Edith walks in on them. Just as with Yvette, she wonders what René is doing with a girl (which Edith refers to as "a brazen hussy") in his arms. When he explains who it is and Louise even puts a gun to Edith's forehead, threatening to kill her if she does not leave them alone, she hastily withdraws to the kitchen. After this, Louise leaves the café too and when René has seen her off, Yvette comes out from the backroom. She has seen everything through a crack in the door and is somewhat upset. As René is trying to comfort her and assure her, that she is the only one he loves, Edith comes out from the kitchen, discovering them. This time, René explains that Yvette has helped him stand on his feet after the shocking encounter with Louise. When he decides to go upstairs to lie down for a while, Edith decides to join him. This makes him change his mind - he takes a stroll around the square instead.

Helga is sitting in the ante room, typing on her typewriter, when the telephone rings. When she answers it, it turns out to be general Von Klinkerhoffen at the other end. He explains how colonel Von Strohm and lieutenant Gruber were kidnapped and that he himself managed to fight his way out of the clutches of the communist resistance. He does not seem to be too sad about the kidnapping and it does not seem, as he intends to do anything about it. Secondly, he demands that she attend the execution of herrs Flick and Von Smallhausen, as the colonel and the lieutenant are prevented from doing so. When they have hung, Helga immediately rings a friend and joyously tell a friend of the kidnapping.

Von Strohm and Gruber, still dressed as Göring and Hitler, are sitting in the barn, pondering on how to escape. Suddenly, Louise and Maxine enter, demanding Hitler broadcast an unconditional German surrender. As they cannot refuse, being held at gunpoint, they agree to do it. When the two girls have left, Gruber realises the impossibility of him ending the war without the real Hitler's permission. The two of them desperately try going through the medals pinned to their chests, to see if they contain any suicide pill.

Meanwhile, Michelle has gathered the whole gang (herself, officer Crabtree, Edith, monsieur Alfonse, René, Mimi and Yvette) in the café, where she introduces her new plan. They will snatch Hitler and Göring away from the communists, by going to the barn and pretend to discuss a broadcast with them. Meanwhile, officer Crabtree will blow a hole in the barn wall with dynamite and get Hitler and Göring out that way, rendering them unconcsious with chloroform. He shows the gang a box of candles, of which some are real candles, some are dynamite. Mimi volunteers to assist him, but as Michelle wants her inside the barn, it is decided that monsieur Alfonse shall assist him instead, along with two of Michelle's girls.

In the barn, Maxine try to lay down the future plans. After the broadcast, the two resistance groups will be merged into one, sealed by a marriage between Louise and René. Edith becomes very upset at this and refuses it. It is then decided, that the two competing for René (Edith and Louise) shall fight for him. As René points out, they are not evenly matched. Therefore, Edith is allowed to appoint somebody to fight on her behalf and as Mimi volunteers, she chooses her. Since Louise does not want to get hurt, she appoints a replacement too, a rather large and strong girl called Désirée. As the fight begins, Mimi is no match for her and Désirée toys with Mimi. However, when she is not paying attention, Mimi climbs up a ladder and hits Désirée on the head with a marrow, thus rendering her unconscious.

Meanwhile, officer Crabtree, monsieur Alfonse, Yvette, and two of Michelle's girl, sneak behind the barn in order to blow a hole in the wall. Yvette urges them to hurry, since she does not like the look of the two bulls on the other side of the field. As it turns out, that there are no sticks of dynamite in the box - only ordinary candles - the plan to blow up the wall is put off. However, Crabtree has an idea and drops his trousers. As he is wearing red underpants, he flashes them in the direction of the bulls, of whom one is aroused by the red, charges towards Crabtree and crashes through the wall, making a large hole in it. Then, the bull runs away again and so do Yvette and the resistance girls.

When Mimi has won the fight, the two resistance groups still cannot agree on how to cooperate and start insulting each other again. This leads to a big fight between everybody in the barn (except for Gruber and Von Strohm, who are in another part of the barn, and René, who decides to just watch instead).

As Gruber and Von Strohm get out of the hole in the wall, they see officer Crabtree and monsieur Alfonse lying on the ground, knocked out. They spot a van on the road a few yards away and decide to hide in the back of it, which they do. However, they do not know, that it is the van that officer Crabtree and monsieur Alfonse came in and when those two, after a while, wake up, they drive the van away, with the two Germans inside it. When the people in the barn discover, that Hitler and Göring have escaped, the fight stops.

Herrs Flick and Von Smallhausen are lined up against a wall, with a firing squad in front of them. Herr Flick does not want to be blindfolded, but as his last request, he asks for a kiss from Helga. When she has kissed him, Von Smallhausen also requests a kiss from her. However, this makes her want a blindfold, which makes her miss Von Smallhausen and kiss herr Flick a second time instead. As the squad is about to fire, a soldier comes running with a telegram for the general. Reluctantly he lets Helga read it for hem and herr Flick thinks it is his godfather Heinrich Himmler, who has acted to save him. However, the telegram only concerns a new uniform. As the squad takes aim again, the general even more reluctantly receives a new telegram. This time, it is from Himmler, ordering the herrs to be released.

In the evening, Gruber and Von Strohm find themselves alone in the abandoned van, which is parked in the town square. They decide to get into the café via the window in the backroom to ask René to help them. Meanwhile, Edith is lying in bed, not feeling well. Madame Fanny and monsieur LeClerc, who are dining in the café, decide to bring her some food and some stomach powder to help her get better. While they slowly go upstairs. René have a talk and a quick cuddle with Yvette in the backroom. They are rather shocked, when they find Hitler and Göring knocking on the window, but are calmed down, when they realise it is only Gruber and Von Strohm. Hardly have those two got into the room, when there is another knock on the window. This time, it is Louise and Maxine. In desperation, René sends Yvette with the two Germans out of the room, to go behind the bar and then take the back stairs to the second floor. When he is alone, he opens the window and talks to the resistance girls and manages to lead them away to search for Hitler and Göring elsewhere.

Yvette takes the two Germans into Edith's room. When they enter, she is shocked to see them, but is calmed, when finding out, that it is only Gruber and Von Strohm. When they hear somebody coming up the stairs, they think it is the communist resistance girls and they are quickly forced to hide. Von Strohm hides in the cupboard and Gruber in the bed, next to Edith. However, it turns out not to be the communists, but madame Fanny and monsieur LeClerc, who have come to give Edith the stomach powder. Fanny notices somebody lying in Edith's bed and is shocked to find it is Hitler himself. When she also notices Göring in the cupboard, it becomes too much for her and she faints. The next moment, René enters the room and, realising the desperate situation he is in, promptly grabs the brandy monsieur LeClerc was about to pour for madame Fanny, and sweeps it himself.