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René is happy, since, as at the end of the last episode, life is good again. After he has had "such a narrow escape" with Yvette's pregnancy, he has decided that from now on, he will be faithful to Edith (without telling her). However, as he is telling Yvette this and saying that he shall never feel her young firm body against his and so on, he realises he cannot keep the promise and they decide to have a cuddle in the backroom. However, they are there surprised by Edith, whom they thought were in the kitchen. She has gone around the back in order to get into the room to poke the stove there. As Edith the suggests she and René have a cuddle in the backroom, he strangely does not disagree. However, when Edith enters the room, she is in for another shock, because through the window comes lieutenant Gruber and colonel Von Strohm, still dressed in their flamenco dresses. René orders Mimi and Yvette to tend the bar, while he and Edith talk to the Germans in the backroom.

It turns out, that their van was bombed just before the Spanish borders. They then stole two bicycles and headed back to Nouvion, to "the one person they could trust" (René). He urges them to go back towards Spain, since they have been missing for a week and general Von Klinkerhoffen, who has the incriminating photograph, probably thinks they have deserted. Edith then comes up with an idea. They are to inform the general, that Gruber was forced to have his picture taken with the painting by the resistance, who have kidnapped them both. This was done because the resistance had stolen the painting, but wanted to blame the two officers and make the general believe that they had deserted with the painting. This, in turn, was done in order to be able to fly the two of them to England, for them to reveal the German defence plan against the invasion.

Edith says she was inspired by Edgar Allan Poe when she came up with this intricate plan. In order to convince the general, she suggests the two officers being bound and blindfolded and put in the old windmill north of town, in order for the general to find them there. In order to inform the general of their whereabouts, René will casually find a bottle in the canal, with a note for the general, written by Gruber and Von Strohm, with clues about where they are. When René suggests that story is not believable, Edith instead comes up with the idea, that Gruber had dropped the bottle down a drain and the heavy rains as of lately have made the water rise and force the bottle up the water pipe of the café. The four of them agree it is "so outrageous it could work" and decide to go with the plan. In order to get to the windmill, Edith will ask monsieur Alfonse to give them a lift in his hearse, without telling him the real plan. When she has left the room, to talk to monsieur Alfonse (who is sitting in the café), Gruber gives René the painting, with the booby still missing, to hide, which he does.

Monsieur Alfonse agrees to give the two Germans a lift in his hearse, but as he has had a little too much to drink, he cannot drive it at the moment. Edith then urges René to help him. When René wonders what excuse he would have to sit on top of a hearse, wearing a top hat, in the middle of the night, with two dancing girls in the back, Edith comes up with the idea, that he and monsieur Alfonse are two typical Frenchmen who have picked up two tarts to have some hanky panky in the woods. When they explain this part of the plan to monsieur Alfonse and the two waitresses, Mimi points out that in their flamenco dresses, they look too rich for local tarts, who are poor and therefore cheap. Hence, Yvette and Mimi dress them in cheaper dresses.

Yvette and Mimi go out into the square, dressed the way they usually do when they want to pick up somebody, and they are soon joined by the lieutenant and the colonel, also dressed as tarts. After the four of them have chased off some other local tarts, two German officers come up to them, showing some interest in Gruber and Von Strohm. However, they are rescued by René and Monsieur Alfonse, who come by with the hears, which the two of them climb on board.

The next morning, Michelle enters the café through the back passage. She takes a few bottles of wine, to serve at an introduction party for new members of the resistance, and then leaves. As René is about to go and give the bottle with the message to the general, he is reluctant and feels it would be better if somebody else did it. The next moment, a person enters the café who is just the man to do it - officer Crabtree. After René has given him a hangover remedy, he agrees to deliver the bottle. This turns out to be very easy, as the next moment, the general enters the café, accompanied by Helga. He gives both officer Crabtree and René some posters to put up and distribute over town. They inform everybody to stay clear of the old windmill, as it will be used for target practice at noon the same day. When Crabtree has given the general the bottle, he leaves to put up the posters. The general then smashes the bottle on a table and orders Helga to read it. After trying to decipher the information that the two officers are held "blindfolded and bound in a place where the wind always blows, there is much grinding of wheels and a woosh, woosh, woosh sound", he does not figure out that they are at the windmill, but thinks they are held in a laundry. When the general and Helga have gone, René therefore gets ready to go and rescue the lieutenant and the colonel from the windmill.

When Helga visits Herr Flick in his secret headquarters, she is in for a big surprise. Herr Flick's head is completely wrapped in bandages, only with holes for his eyes, nose and mouth. Naturally, she enquires as to what has happened and he informs her, that he has undergone plastic surgery in order to alter his appearance. This is because he needs a new identity when the invasion comes, in order to escape to Argentina.

René goes to the windmill and releases Gruber and Von Strohm. As he informs them of the target practice, they rush out of there, hop on René's bike and quickly ride away, leaving René behind. The next moment, Louise and one of her girls from the communist resistance turn up at the windmill. René warns them of the target practice and the three of them are forced to hide behind the nearby barn, when the Germans start shooting. When it is over, the two girls will not let René return to let everybody know he is safe, but instead, they order him to follow them and leave only his clothes behind, so that they will be found and everybody will think he is dead.

Michelle barges into the café, angry because she and her girls were almost discovered by the Germans, when they were having a secret meeting in a laundry. When Yvette has told her where René is, Mimi comes into the café, crying and sobbing violently. She shows the two others René's shoes and cap, which she has found, and, as she cries too much to speak, manages to show them by gesturing, that René is dead. The next moment, officer Crabtree enters, wondering if the sad news is really true. As the others cannot break the news to Edith, he decides to do it, when she, the moment later, comes out from the kitchen. When she is informed of René's demise, she faints.

René is brought to the communist resistance's underground headquarters, from which they have tunnels everywhere, leading to hollow trees, that are exits. When Louise orders for him to be bathed, shaven and brought to her bunker, he is rather willing, but after it has turned out that "bathed" means soaking him in cold water, he effortlessly tries to leave and is seen trying to get out of a tree.

  • Note: This episode marks the first appearance of David Janson as Herr Otto Flick. The story of his plastic surgery was conceived to explain his altered appearance, when he was no longer being played by Richard Gibson.
  • Note: In this episode, series writer and creator Jeremy Lloyd has a cameo appearance as one of the Germans who show some interest in Gruber and Von Strohm when they are dressed as tarts.
Allo Allo Series 9
Gone With The Windmill | A Tour De France | Dead Man Marching | Tarts And Flickers | A Fishy Send Off | A Winkle In Time


Allo Allo
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