Leg It To Spain!

Leg It To Spain!
Production Details
Written by	Jeremy Lloyd & Paul Adam
Director	Mike Stephens
Transmission Details
Airdate	16 February 1991
Continuity
Previous	The Spirit Of Nouvion
Next	Prior Engagements

Plot

The morning after nicking the painting from Herr Flick's safe, René is in the café, filling a knapsack with supplies in order to, disguised as an onion seller, flee towards the Spanish border, because the Germans saw him in the safe. He is also taking the painting with him. Before he can leave, however, he is discovered by Yvette, whom he tells he will go to Spain, sell the painting and then send for her. He also informs her, that the painting he has given to Michelle is a forgery. When they are having a quick cuddle and Yvette begs René not to leave her, they are discovered by Edith, who, after René has explained what he was doing with his arms around Yvette, tells René not to run away, since she does not think he is in danger. The next moment, colonel Von Strohm, lieutenant Gruber and captain Bertorelli enter the café and demand an explanation as to where the painting is, namely because they have discovered a trail of flour from the bakery next to Herr Flick's headquarters, leading straight to the café. René explains that a stranger, all covered in flour, showed up just moments earlier and wanted to sell him the painting. He confiscated it and was just about to give it to the Germans. Thus, he gives them the painting, after which they leave.

Herrs Flick and Von Smallhausen go to the police station and report last night's burglary. Crabtree says he saw the men who committed the crime, but that he would however not recognise them. Herr Flick sets up a 100 francs reward to anyone who finds the painting.

In the colonel's office, Von Strohm, Gruber and Bertorelli are trying to figure out whether their painting is the real one or a forgery. When they have determined that it is the real one, they quickly try to hide it under a newspaper on the table, as general Von Klinkerhoffen enters the room. As he talks about the burglary and the painting, they cannot keep the secret, but reveal the painting to him and hand it over. The general then asks how the propaganda newspaper is coming and Gruber points out, that they need a new picture on the front page, since the Gestapo ruined the picnic pictures. Von Klinkerhoffen then suggests they all have their picture taken enjoying a happy evening at the café. He thinks Helga should sit next to him, referring to her as "the pin-up of the tank corps".

Von Smallhausen tells Herr Flick that the painting is now in the general's possession. Herr Flick therefore decides he must make up with Helga, so she can help him get it back. He reads his Gestapo manual "How to Get Off With Women of the Opposite Sex - Ten Easy Lessons", chapter five "How to Make Up with a Woman You have Ditched". He finds out he has to grovel, which he finds extremely difficult. It says he should bring her gifts, write her a poem or serenade her with a love song - something he does not look forward to. He even practices singing.

After Mimi has received a call from the colonel and she has told René and Edith what the Germans want in the café, Michelle enters the café, through the back passage, saying that down there, the airmen are testing the big wine barrels, which they will be inside in order to float down the river to the coast, where they will be picked up by the British. She takes René and Edith down to the cellar to say good bye to them, since this is the last time they will see them. She also makes the airmen show "the drill" to René and Edith. When they are out at see in the dark of night, they will both wear helmets with light bulbs (taken from Edith's bathroom) attached to them. Via batteries in the barrels, they will each push a button, to make the bulbs flash, so they can be spotted. When they are done, Michelle shakes hands with them and thanks them for a job well done. As they also shake hands with each other, there is a full circuit, making the airmen overcharged with power, which explodes the bulbs.

Helga is sitting at her type writer typing, when Herr Flick enters the ante room. He tries to serenade her and read her a poem, but she does her best to ignore him or humiliate him. When he grows tired of groveling, he starts talking to her in a superior manner and asks her to grovel to him, which she does not. The next moment, captain Bertorelli comes into the room, also trying to court her. She accepts his invitations, just to make Herr Flick jealous and leaves with him.

Fanny is lying in bed, being alarmed by her bedknobs, that start flashing. René, Edith and Michelle enter the room, put the bed up and receive the call (apparently, the aerial in the bed post and the bed folding in half have now been abandoned). London tells them they will look for "the two seabirds" at sea and Michelle says they will roll the barrels out to sea that same night.

Herrs Flick and Von Smallhausen are sitting up a tree, spying on Helga and Bertorelli, who are having a picnic. Herr Flick becomes mad with jealousy as Helga is doing what she can to make him jealous, without getting too close to captain Bertorelli. Von Smallhausen suggests he make her jealous in some way and Herr Flick therefore decides they shall go to the café that same evening to "chat up the waitresses", he then grabs the binoculars from Von Smallhausen, making him fall from the tree.

In the evening, Von Klinkerhoffen, Von Strohm, Gruber, Bertorelli and Geerhart (Helga) go to the café, where René has reserved a fine table for them. Monsieur Alfonse is also standing by with his camera. The general is determined that they should enjoy themselves and have nothing special to eat or drink, just what the peasants have. René and Edith serve them snails, of which one even crawls from the plate. The next moment, the Gestapo officers enter the café, fancily dressed. They sit down at a table and Herr Flick tries to "chat up" Mimi, using his Gestapo manual. However, she is not impressed and tells him off, not very gently. After they have all suffered through madame Edith's singing, the Germans pose to have their picture taken, pretending to be enjoying her singing, so she has to take her singing pose again. Before this, however, Herr Flick tries his luck with Yvette, which ends even worse than with Mimi. The general does not like the disturbance and has the Gestapo officers thrown out, before the picture can be taken. When this is done, the general commends René about his wine and he even wants to go down the cellar to see the bottles himself. As René, Edith, Von Klinkerhoffen, Von Strohm and Gruber come down the cellar, the general discovers the two big wine barrels (which he does not know contain the airmen) and demand they be sent to his quarters at the chateau. When the Germans have left, René knocks on the barrels to try to warn the airmen, but they do not understand what he tries to tell them.