René bakes a cake for the colonel's birthday, which is celebrated in the café. Monsieur LeClerc plays the piano and the others (René, Yvette, Maria, Hans, Helga and Hubert) sing "Happy Birthday to You" to him. However, René tells him not to eat the icing on the cake, since it is plaster of Paris (because Hans could not provide him with sugar). When he asks for his presents, the waitresses tell him they will have surprises for him in their rooms. Edith shows up and announces she has a surprise right now - she will sing for the colonel. After a session of her excruciatingly bad singing, they have a glass of champagne. The colonel asks René about the airmen and the painting. He explains that the airmen are still around, but hidden, and that the painting is being copied in London and will soon be dropped by parachute. Then, the colonel can give the forgery to herr Flick and everything will be fine. Helga asks him if she can be in on the proceeds from the selling of the painting after the war, but the colonel gives her a somewhat oraculous answer. Suddenly, the communist resistance shows up to kidnap the colonel. The resistance girls think René is a friend of the colonel's, but he and his wife avoid capture, by telling them the icing on the cake was plaster of Paris (would you give that to your friend?) and that Edith's singing was not pleasant - even to the Germans. The colonel and the captain are kidnapped by the girls, but Gruber avoids it by hiding behind the bar.
Michelle turns up in the backroom and René complains to her about the resistance having captured the Germans. After she has explained to him, that it was not her resistance group - hers are faithful to de Gaulle, they are communists - who did the kidnapping, she also tells him that she and her girls will take care of it (since they know the communists' hideout) and that he must contact London and tell them the airmen cannot go to the coast that same evening, as planned. René has not heard of this plan, but Michelle informs him, he would have right then, if the Germans had not been captured. She would have gone herself, but she would be missed at her job - post mistress in the next village.
Monsieur LeClerc brings Fanny some cake but when she learns it is the German colonel's birthday cake, she spits it out. Then, René, Michelle and Yvette show up and Michelle explains they cannot use the radio, because the Gestapo will search the café when investigating the two German officers' disappearance. Instead, they must get rid of the radio, by ripping it loose and throw it out the window - onto a waiting resistance lorry. They do so, but forget the code book. When they discover it, the lorry has already gone and so, they are forced to eat the pages of the book. The airmen, who are once again hiding in the cupboard, are forced out the window, onto the roof, to find a better place to hide. As they are hungry, Michelle gives them some more code book papers to chew on.
Edith and some café guests are lined up to be interrogated by herr Flick. He asks Edith why she is dressed like she is. When she tells him she was entertaining the colonel and he asks her to prove it, she sings a few notes, but herr Flick does not believe she was "entertaining" him with her horrible singing voice. However, Helga vouches for the truth in this. He also asks Gruber if he remembers the faces of the resistance girls but as he is a homosexual, he thinks all girls look the same. Herr Flick then informs the group that if the colonel and the captain are not returned to his office no later than eight o'clock the next morning, ten peasants will be shot in the town square. When he is about to leave and gives the "Heil Hitler!" salute, the Frenchmen spit after him. This makes him change the quota to twenty peasants.
The colonel and the captain are standing, their hands tied behind their backs, in a barn. The colonel manages to get his lighter out and tries to burn through Hans's ropes. However, all he manages is to put him through excruciating pain and burn the strap of his wristwatch off. René is, blindfolded, taken to the communist hide out, where the resistance girls want him to shoot the colonel and the captain - in order to avenge his brother, whom they had shot. First, he tries to get out of the situation of being the one to shoot them by claiming that he did not like his brother. When they still force him to do it, he asks to be alone in his moment of revenge, which they agree to and leave. As he is about to cut the Germans loose with a sharp knife, the resistance girls come back. He explains the knife in his hand with his wanting to torture them a while. The girls have picked up something, which was dropped by parachute, namely two identical paintings and two German uniforms, with the colonel's and the captain's names on them. The German officers then try to fool the girls into believing they are British spies, disguised as Germans. Suddenly, gunshots are heard and the communists think it is the German army and leaves, dropping the uniforms and the painting. However, it turns out it is Michelle, Edith, Yvette and Maria, disguised as German soldiers. René cuts the Germans loose and the four "soldiers" enter the barn, showing they are not real soldiers. The Germans head back towards Nuovion, with the paintings.
Herr Flick and Helga are in a staff car, looking for the officers. At one point, they are forced to crank the car, which is done in a very innuendos way. Soon after that, they find the officers and they hand the forged painting over to him. He leaves them on the road to walk back, but at least they will now be rid of him. They go to the café and wake up everyone there. When they are let in, they all have one last look at the painting, before it is to be hidden until the end of the war. However, they discover a little note in the corner of it. Hans, who knows a little English, translates it and it says, that this is the forgery - which means they have given herr Flick the original and must get it back somehow.
|Allo Allo Series 1|
|The British Are Coming ; The Fallen Madonna ; Pidgeon Post ; Saville Row to the Rescue ; The Execution ; The Funeral ; Red Nick's Colonel ; The Dance of the Hitler Youth|
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