Plot Edit

René is hiding in the hen house from Monsieur Alfonse's seconds, who have come to make arrangements for the upcoming duel. Yvette comes and informs him that the seconds are now gone. Lieutenant Gruber received them on his behalf. When René comes back into the café, he finds the colonel, the captain and the lieutenant sitting at a table, having a drink. When he learns that Gruber accepted the challenge on his behalf, he first thinks that Gruber will fight in his place. However, he informs him that he has agreed to be one of his seconds. René says he has no intention of fighting this duel. Edith then complains that he will humiliate her in front of her friends - she has invited the whole village to come and watch and are making plans to make money on the affair by serving food at the event. She also intends to wear all black and goes off to buy a new, black hat. Gruber says he refused the use of swords and agreed to pistols instead. After he has left, colonel Von Strohm informs René of his plan to save him from the duel. The next morning, when it is about to take place, the Germans will hold battle maneuvers nearby with machine guns, armoured cars and troops. Just before the duel, they will just "happen" to kill Monsieur Alfonse, for which they will not be punished, since he is "only a Frenchman".

Herr Flick and Helga are in his headquarters, playing Monopoly. He receives notice by telephone that he will soon receive a telegram. A few moments later, it is delivered by his assistant, Engelert Von Smallhausen. It is from his godfather, Heinrich Himmler, and informs him, that experts have re-assembled the blown up sausage, without finding any painting inside. He then figures out that the colonel had replaced the false knockwurst (which he thinks the colonel thinks contains the original painting) with an empty one and sent it to Berlin. Herr Flick goes off to arrest the colonel and the captain, keeping Helga in his dungeon by handcuffing her wrists to the chair she is sitting in.

René and Maria have a secret rendezvous in the broom cupboard under the stairs. When Edith finds them in there and wonder what they are doing, René says he is reprimanding Maria, since Edith does not want him to do it in front of the customers.

Monsieur LeClerc and three resistance girls are sitting in the backroom, sewing the balloon together with all the stolen silk knickers. Michelle tells René that the basket is ready to be attached to the balloon and he tells them they must be out of the room in ten minutes, since the Germans are coming. They still need one more pair and Henriette gives up her last one. Yvette calls René out into the café, since there are customers coming.

Edith continues with the preparations for the duel. René informs Yvette of the Germans' plan to "take care" of Monsieur Alfonse and she thinks they could "take care" of Edith at the same time. René agrees it is a possibility, but then again, it might be pushing his luck. Officer Crabtree enters the café and informs them that the British airmen are no longer dressed in their cow suit. The next moment, they both enter the café, dressed as French gendarmes. Since there are Germans approaching, René shows them into the backroom, where Michelle informs him that the balloon is ready and will be hidden in a barn five kilometers north of the village. When the wind is favourable, René will receive notice and guide the airmen there. Yvette comes in and tells them Herr Flick has been there, looking for the colonel. Since he has cancelled his table and ordered food to take away, René understands he will have dinner with Helga in his dungeon that evening.

When he and Helga are having this dinner, she is a bit angry with him for not freeing both of her hands. However, it is because he does not believe that she does not know where the colonel and the captain are. Secondly, he does not want her to be able to warn them. Von Smallhausen enters the room and informs Herr Flick that they have found the officers - out on maneuvers.

At five o'clock the next morning, René and Edith are woken up the alarm clock, in order not to be late for the duel, which takes place at seven o'clock. A few seconds later, somebody is knocking on the café door. Edith thinks it might be somebody wanting to buy tickets to the event. When René is a little upset she has been selling tickets, she assures him it is only for the front row.

The girls open the door and let Gruber in. He has brought René's trousers for the occasion. He sends the girls back to bed and René puts the trousers on behind the bar. Gruber offers him his locket for good luck, but he was thinking more along the lines of a copper plate. LeClerc comes into the café, dressed up and carrying a mop and a bucket. He is to be René's other second and is now to wash the floor as a preparation for the party after the duel.

Maria, Yvette, Edith and Fanny walk to the spot in the woods where the duel will take place. The villagers and Monsieur Alfonse and his seconds then approach from different directions. When Alfonse wants to be gallant and flatter Fanny by saying she must be Edith's sister, she thinks his eyes are bad and offers him her opera glasses so that he will be able to see to shoot. René gets dressed behind a tree and wears a coal scuttle under his shirt for extra protection. After Yvette and Maria have said their farewells to René, Gruber proceeds with the formalities and first asks, if either party wishes to apologize. Alfonse tries to, but René will not hear of it - convinced as he is that the Germans will "take care" of him. When they are done with the formalities and are ready to start, a motorcycle approaches. The driver leaves a message to Gruber, informing him that the maneuver has been cancelled, since Von Strohm and Geering have been arrested by the Gestapo. When the duel begins and the two combatants walk ten paces from each other, René runs away. Monsieur Alfonse fires a shot at him and Fanny sees through her glasses that "his shirt is torn, he is not wounded, but there is a dent in his coal scuttle".

Allo Allo Series 2
Six Big Boobies ; The Wooing of Widow Artois ; The Policeman Cometh ; Swiftly and with Style ; The Duel ; Herr Flick's Revenge ; The Gâteau from the Château
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